Making Good Decisions

Last week we explored the topic of laying the foundation for decision making: what are your options. This week we're discussing the "holy grail" of how to make good decisions.

If you’re subscribing to my “Your Life - Your Way” programme, you have experienced a gorgeous guided meditation that really helped you get clear about your options. If you’re not in yet but want to just drop me an email. 

There’s so much power in getting clear not only about the options that lay before you, but also letting yourself think “what if” thoughts: what if I focus on this, how will that impact this other option? And my life? 

The problem of today’s world is that everything needs to be done immediately. No one wants to take time over decision making. And that’s why we often make decisions that are half-baked or don’t bear fruit - because they weren’t the right ones. 

By the time we pivot, even the right options have sometimes moved on leaving us deflated and full of anger towards ourselves.

Decisions 

We make decisions every day. A lot of them don’t matter too much, although…the decisions on how you react and which thoughts you give focus to can have long-lasting effects. 

Sometimes we make hasty decisions, often because we’re pressured in the moment (like those rush-hour coffee cringes). More often we make rapid decisions because our peers push us by saying things like “are you coming?” or “just make up your mind” or even “it’s not rocket science”. 

For some people, decision making IS easy. They can trust their inner guidance or intuition to give them the right answer. Note: that many people still don’t make the right decision for themselves because they fear repercussions from others (but that’s a different story). 

There are also many people who need time to make decisions. They, too, can trust their intuition, but they need to go through a mood swing (for lack of a better description) to realize if their gut feeling stays the same. You might be one of those people if you find yourself really excited saying yes to something which you later regret… 

If you’re unsure which “lot” of people you fall into, your Quantum Human Design™ can help. Don’t know what I’m talking about? No worries, book a free intro session here. 

Good Decisions 

Good decisions, as I mentioned earlier, come from thorough exploration. Think about it, you might want to cook a nice dinner. So you go to the market and get all the fresh ingredients. You come home. But you don’t have a kitchen. 

What we do has consequences. Sometimes that involves us alone, but often it impacts others, too. For today, let’s stay with just ourselves (you are the most important person in your life after all!). 

Good decisions are those that feel right. 

But sometimes we don’t trust those decisions because we fear what others might say; or we assume we know what they would say and think. And so while we know it would be a good decision, we still decide against it. 

In my experience, you always know. With hindsight it’s even easier. 

Practicing Good Decision Making 

So what can you do to make good decisions? Practice! Your intuition, your gut, is like a muscle that wants and needs to be exercised to be recognized. 

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE watching figure skating: the control over movement, the crazy speeds, and even crazier jumps. The performers work not only on their strength, flexibility, and grace; they also work on mindset, resilience, and confidence. 

When they go on the ice they know they can trust their bodies to perform. 

This is the level you need to get to with your practice; and in my experience it’s also where it so often goes wrong: we don’t trust. 

Even when we look back over our lives and see where we knew we were making a “wrong decision” (big or small), we still don’t trust our inner voices. So practice with small things. Maybe you want to be more active, so you could ask yourself whether you want to go for a run. 

Be mindful here that the ego doesn’t get in the way. The ego wants you to be safe. It’s kept you safe always and it’s easily scared by your new approach to trusting your intuition (and breaking free from patterns in the process). 

If you’re coming up to resistance, ask yourself whether that’s you or your ego wanting to keep you “safe”. Again, you’ll know the answer (although you might not like it). 

Wrong Choices

Just a quick word on “wrong” decisions. I stumbled across that as I wrote it in the earlier paragraph. 

Are there wrong decisions? Regrets? 

Well, I believe it’s the beauty of life that we have a choice. When we make a decision that turns out to be less than ideal or not what we thought it would be, it always provides a learning opportunity. 

That in turn is a blessing. 

If we can see the blessing and the teaching that has come with it. Sometimes (and again I’m speaking from experience) we need many attempts to see the blessing and the learning; and a little more time to implement what we’ve learned and make a different decision the next time. 

So, no, there are no wrong decisions. As to regrets: if there’s really something you want to do - do it! No one is stopping you. 

Making Good Decisions 

Bringing it all together for you: making good decisions takes practice. It’s often difficult because we fear the reactions of others. Or we want to go for something but are scared that it’s too much or it’s not for us. 

Limiting thoughts and patterns (our own, our friends & families, and society’s) can really impact our decision making capability. 

BUT you still have the choice. You also have the right to make the right decision for you. No one else can do that for you. You actually get to choose what you want to do and, thus, you create your life. 

Next week, I’ll discuss actions: because all the exploration and decision-making is not going to do you any good if you don’t follow up with actions.

If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, listen to and work through the corresponding Soul Journey: Good Decision Making.